So, of what am I most afraid?

Well, of not being anything, any more.

That belief, at last, in an existence after a death,

is the Great Lie….

of no commas, rather, only a period

at the end of my sentence.

Of no exclamation marks, after.

Of not even a question mark to cling to in a death grip.

Of even the meaning of what I have done

being replaced, after but a little while, by La Nada…

Of being reduced to erasure dust.

Of being deleted by the push of a key.

Of having amounted to no effect.

Not even a tender kiss or a good fuck.

Or a poem that left behind an audience,

thinking

after some open-mic in Wilmington.

Or a thought from some sermon I preached

some five hundred Sabbaths ago

or a passing idea tossed out

in the middle of a class discussion

changing a students life,

even, but for a little while…

or a glass-pane-pond

where was a ripple once,

when I dipped my toe in.

All nothing.

So,

what’s to do?

How to escape that inevitable, eternal zero-sum.

Well,

it’s surprisingly simple!

Choose faith.

Invite belief into your equation.

For Faith destroys deaths dominion.

Faith overwhelms fear,

makes death a liar.

But, faith in what?

In an exclamation-mark, after.

In a trumpet blast.

In some continuation, after,

which provides its own evidence,

its own substance to chew on….

And if my ascent toward Faith

is but a desperate reach into nothing?

So what?

I will no longer fear.

And I will never know how wrong I was…

But!

If I am right?

Oh!

Thank the dear God

who covers my bet!

If I am right!