Hanging on the wall in my study is a family heirloom.

An old wooden coo-ko clock, from Switzerland, I think.

Immigrated cross the Atlantic by my Polish Grandmother, Rose.

I remember it used to hang in my Grandparents foyer

hooked to its long golden chains, weighted by a pair of iron pine cones,

pulling time along as they dropped toward the floor.

I remember, back then, Grandpa Max always remembering

to pull the weights back-up to touch the fillagreed bird house clock

so every hour, five “coo-koos” would sound out to announce the passing of our lives,

like clock work.

Even New Years Eve clamor would include the coo-koos!

For I think I remember Grandpa Max

setting all the alarm clocks in their house to sound out at midnight.

Their coo-ko clock as well!

Right on time, in tune!

My Fathers inheritance included that clock

when Grand Ma Rose passed…

It hung in our living room, given pride of place in our Bronx apartment.

Sadly, though, father frequently forgot to pull the chains and oil the gears

so the clock tocked but the coo-ko stopped.

Now, it hangs in my study, not ticking, not tocking, not singing.

The inner works:

the broken chains; the rusty, jammed gears,

are frozen in time.

And now, I am beginning to suspect

my memories of the glory days of my childhood

are merely echos of dreams of way back then

I wish might have been true.

Instead of a snoring grandfather, sleeping off a hang-over

in a drunken, drooling, vodka slumber,

while Grandma Rose,

sitting at her kitchen table,

tearfully recounted her sorrows

to my commiserating mother

while my father simmered his anger at his father,

stole another shot of Stoli and stirred the soup.

Well…

perhaps memory must be tended too

for the reality of it to live on.

But, so often, the shepherding of truth through time

is not worth the emotional cost of the effort,

and its traveling companion, pain….

For what we think we remember,

the lovely melody of time, passing,

is so much more beautiful

than what the reality, truly, was…

a weeping, weazing, scratchy coo-ko-bird-song…

out of time.

Coo-ko…

coo-ko…

coo….