“I had a visit yesterday with my doctor

cause I can’t bend no more

at the waist or knees

without I keep on headin’ South.

Have to hold to the bathroom door

or the god-damn bed post

whilst doin’ battle with my boxers or socks

just to keep from landin’ on my face.

(That squeak in the bed used to mean something

a lot more fun than it does now!)

Started about a month ago…

Well, maybe two.

Jez! this sucks!

Sure, I probably put off too long, seeing’ him.

Hell!

Anyway, I knew what he’d say,

after the obligatory joke about

one of his older patients

who depends on a walker to move around

and now uses DEPENDS!

He’d say, ‘Well, Mr. Greenman,”

“You’ve made it past your allotment

of four score and some more.

Just hold tight to the bed post or door!

Or sit, for Pete’s sake!

…Nothing wrong with an old guy like you

sitting when you need to!

Better than falling!

Anyway, you of all people should know,

balance isn’t the first thing to go!”

(This a painful reminder of a sad reality…)

“….so if you have to, sit!

Piss or shit, no matter!

Take an aspirin.

Don’t get any fatter.

And call me in the morning!

Ha! Ha!”

“And I’ll say, “Thanks, Doc.”

And pay him his dime

for all his time.

And when I’m in need,

keep an eye out for a convenient

door jam or bed post.

But,

DEPENDS!

Indeed!