“It is good mankind meets to talk of toilet seats.

For there are laws,

unwritten, but nevertheless, laws.

And, no, beloved, you had no part in their making….

but, nevertheless…

Avoid your wife’s frown.

If you must stand,

lift it up,

and then,

put it down.

Even better!

Adopt the Female way!

It’s better to stay sat

when it comes to

“That”!

Take the thing into

your own hand.

When you have to pee,

sit,

don’t stand.

Your life will be so much happier,

you wouldn’t believe!

So trust me.

You’ll see.