The guarantee and the root

of the efficacy of progress

is based solely, squarely and securely

on the fact that the last guy

or crew

or company

who,

” Put your old roof on, Madam,”…

or installed your AC system

or used 2X4’s

instead of 4X8’s

or invested only 37.8%

of your 408-XYZ-tax-free-account

into common stocks

or technology stocks

or General Motors

instead of Tessler,

etcetera …

were,

(Excuse my French, Madam)

assholes,

which MY COMPANY,

after we clean up the mess

THAT OTHER COMPANY

made

will replace the damage with this

BRAND NEW DO-DAD-HICKY

WHICH IS GUARANTEED!!!!

to cool your home,

or heat it

or allow you to finger-slide

your brand new POLY-X-CLEAR-GLASS-WINDOWS

in your E-Z-BREEZE-SCREENED-PORCH

or make you a millionaire two years

BEFORE YOUR ANTICIPATED RETIREMENT DATE

so you can enjoy

AAALLL

your remaining golden years in complete financial security

AAALLLL

for the low, low cost of

ONLY 2 plus .78%

of the previous price

those crooks charged you the last time!

World without end,

Amen!

Thank the Gods for incompetence,

without which we’d still be

livin’ in caves…