DAMN!

I just spilled blueberry juice

on my white henley at breakfast.

That’s it!

The shirt is ruined.

Never gonna get that stain out.

It’s doomed to be a “work ‘n sweat-shirt”

for the rest of its life.

But then I thought,

“Wait a second!

Fishermen have seagull-poop painted on fishing-caps!

Youngsters (15-35 years old)

wear pre-holed blue jeans!

(Some more holed than whole>)

Why not PRE-STAINED-DINNER-APPAREL?

Think of the artistic possibilities!

A heart-shaped-tomato-sauce puddle

dripped on the chest of your brand new Van Heusen.

A rainbow of fruit juices

flowing across the lap

of your white-cotton- sun dress.

Prime-rib-au-jus

oozed onto a taupe cashmere vest.

Wine drops keep falling’ on my tux!

Never worry again about

a dribbled faux pas

during your next dinner date.

Paint the stain on the garment

before you don it.

Enjoy all those first-kiss- selfies

without the sudden embarrassed pain

of a gravy stain

on your red silk shirt.

A never ending stream

of photos of yourself

without the whoops-factor.

There is historical precedent, you know.

Orgy-togas in ancient Rome

daubed in oil and vinegar and pesto.

And then, we will always have…

Greece.