Lancelot

could have come a lot

in Camelot

had he wished to,

but that virgin paladin

made himself live up to

some pristine illusion

created by his delusion,

thus leaving Guenievere

salivating over him

and never giving Arthur the chance

to achieve his only real duty,

IE:

to get himself a son

to be anointed “King To Come”

after Arthurs reign was done.

But Lancelot, by abstaining,

destroyed the British version

of the last best hope for Man,

all by adhering to his

cherished commitment to virginity.

What a waste of a good knight!

‘Cause by the end of all that angst,

no one kept

their buttons buttoned,

anyway

nor cared what who did what to whom,

(Mordred birthed by an incestuous-royal-one- night stand)

and since all was determined by

bad luck,

no one ever got to fuck

the one they really wanted to,

leaving

Guenievere genuflecting in a convent,

Lance crawling on all fours,

slurping mushrooms

off some English forest floor,

poor Arthur floating on a pyre

just off the misty shore

of Avalon!

Want the real lesson of the story?

To hell with morality!

When that golden opportunity

appears to thee,

my child,

get off your dear conundrum,

buy a bakers dozen box of condums

and get on with it!