I need
to crawl out from under
the warm, seductive, blanket
of misconstrued faith,
and break my habit of shaky hope.

I need
to be crushed by the weight of a wave,
and drown in the pull of a rip
and accept that I’ve no power to save,
will never be able to swim back to shore.

Why?
Why be compelled
to be broken?
To be lost?

Truth be told?

I need
to be freed
from that final sin,
that awful addiction
to an ultimate win,
the illusion which tells me
that soul lives forever,
the lie that part of me
will never die
(as long as I
try and work and try…)

Only then I can live,
in the joy of a life
doing good for goodness sake.